Anger, Apathy, Ambivalence

When I heard about the first bomb blast in Nyanya, Abuja on 14th April, I wrote a poem in my journal to express my thoughts about the tragedy. It was a trite response to what, at the time, seemed like a glitch in the Nigerian system.

By the time a second bomb went off in the same Abuja suburb, the moronic reaction of some politicians to the first and the lethargic response of the government to the abductions of school girls had wound me up to the point where I just went off in anger. I ranted on Facebook for hours and did not calm down till the next day.

On Sunday, I heard of another blast in Kano and stayed off the internet. I did not post about it on social media and, since I was locked in my house, discussion with friends was out of the question. I was careful not to get angry. And I didn’t.

I wanted to stop feeling like shit because of events that were happening across the country

This evening, news of another blast in Jos started to make the rounds on Twitter and I was caught in the middle of varying emotions. A part of me was miffed at the demise of human beings due to the extremism of a few and the continued ineptitude of government. But I did not want to stay angry.

I know it is anger that makes people do things like attack the Hausa man who sells Suya on their street who might have lost more in this war than they have. It is anger that makes them start reprisal attacks, perpetrating what the terrorist initiated. It is anger that makes us blind to the fact that without a drastic change—a saviour—we are headed for the darkest moments of our history.

I also wanted to be apathetic. I wanted to stop feeling like shit because of events that were happening across the country, wanted to get to that place where I don’t raise my voice every time Nigeria becomes the subject of discourse. I wanted to stop ranting and start praying, or acting, like many folks were prescribing on the internet.

I wasn’t as annoyed as I used to be at the sorry state of my country, but I couldn’t ignore it altogether. So I picked my pen and wrote this—another trite response.

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3 thoughts on “Anger, Apathy, Ambivalence

  1. The pen is only mightier than the sword When properly deployed… I can’t even tell you exactly How I feel about it all. It’s a mess up there. May God intervene!

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